Not enjoying motherhood!?!

Motherhood is a rollercoaster journey. Its full of highs and lows. Theres no instruction booklet or checklist for you to live by. Most the time we are just having to "whing it". Recently I have felt like I am "whinging" just about every aspect of my life and truth be told it can feel really lonely and overwhelming.

I would like to state this does not mean I don't love my children or know that I am incredibly blessed to bare the title of "mum". But its not all picnics in the park, sunny walks over the local common and fun craft activity's. Its hard...really hard...the hardest thing you will ever do, and its okay to not love every second of it. If your a regular follower of mine on here and my social medias you will know I have had some big changes recently in my life which I believe have contributed to this little funk I'm currently in, that and the fact I have a 2 and 4 year old who are both going through difficult stages, has left me feeling really deflated.

There arnt enough words to describe how much I love my children, and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them, but sometimes, just sometimes I want to just pack a bag and disappear for a week. I wouldn't though because I would miss them too much and have a real pang of "mum guilt".

Hearing "muuuummmm" "muuuummmm" "muuuummm" in that lovely wingey tone that children do over and over again. Watching fireman Sam or Barbie on netflix on repeat just for five minutes peace. Bribing your kids to eat just one more mouthful of the dinner you spent ages cooking. Listening to your 4 year old have a melt down because you gave her the wrong cup or spoon, or plate or you cut her toast in squares and she wanted triangles, or a personal favourite of my childrens, completelty ignoreing me so I have to repeat myself over and over again is enough to make you want to put your head through a wall.

Some days I don't want to do the school runs or make the packed lunches. I don't want to change a stinky nappy. I don't want to hear mum, mum, mum, mum. I don't want to have to do washing or ironing or wipe pee off the toilet seat. I dont want to have to scrape plates of uneaten food in to the bin, I don't want to tidy up toys I didn't even play with, I don't want to be woken up at 5.45am,  I don't want to wrestle a 2 year old to put a nappy on or shouting like Bianca off easterners "get your school shoes on Elise" because I have already asked her several times in my Mary Poppins voice, and that clearly wasn't getting her in to gear.

Being a mum can make you feel like an unappreciated maid who is failing at everything. Forever adhering to the demands of little people that you made(and some days at the hands of the one you made them with, but that's another blog post) expected to do this and that and barely getting a thank you for it. Some days the endless cleaning, picking up of toys and the painful winning noise can feel soul destroying. But this is what we signed up for isn't it, so surely we shouldn't be complaining?!? We should be embracing the good, the bad and the ugly, and why yes that is true, were also entitled to drink a huge glass of vino and have a big old rant to our mummy friends about it, because trust me, they are feeling the same. I would be lost without my mummy friends, they are invaluable to me.

My point to this post, aside from having a good old whinge, Is that if you are feeling the same as me, its okay and your not alone. It doesn't mean you don't enjoy motherhood, or your a bad mum or your ungrateful or that your a terrible person. It just means your human and we all have our limits. We need to remember to take a little time for ourselves so that we can be the best versions of ourselves. Us mums are like ships, if were happy bobbing along the surface then everyone is bobbing along with us. If we start sinking, then everyone and everything is sinking with us. When you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed that is when you need to make some time for you and accept or ask for some help. There will always be someone willing to help you out. I have acknowledge I need to do this, so have taken some steps to make some time for myself to rejuvenate. Remember a happy mummy=happy children. Everything I do is for my children, so I owe it to them...you owe it too your children to be the best mummy and that means taking care of yourself too.

I wouldn't change being a mum for the world, it really is the most incredible thing I have done in my life. My children are my biggest blessing, my greatest achievement and I am so incredibly proud of them. I would just like for all the above not to occur so frequently.

To my fellow mummy's, hang in there, your doing great, it will nearly be bedtime!

Thank you for reading

Natasha xxx

If you haven't already check out my video on the important of "me time" and also my chatty vlog life update.


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