Bitter sweet x

It's the day before my daughters 4th birthday and if I'm totally honest I'm really sad about it. It's her last day of being 3 and the very thought makes me emotional. Please say I'm not the only one?

I've always been quite an emotional person. I cry at Disney films, I can read an article in the paper or watch something on the news and become so emotionally involved and connected that I feel I know these people and feel their pain and suffering.I'm aware that sounds a little sad and strange but it's just who I am.

Elise is about to embark on a new exciting chapter in her life but for me it's bittersweet. As much as I love watching her grow and becoming this independent confident, vibrant and fiesty young lady, I'm sad she is no longer a tiny baby. She doesn't need me to feed her, dress her or need me to carry her around. As hard as I found the newborn days I would give anything to have those days back. The days where she relied on me for everything. They say enjoy it because it goes so fast and it really does.But I now have someone I can share conversations with and do activities with and it's just as fun and lovely in a whole new way, so that's what I need to focus on and enjoy.

I do feel I have been robbed of an extra year at home with her because of when her birthday is and I don't feel ready to let her go. However she is more than ready. She is so excited and can't wait for this next phase in her life and who am I to hold her back just because emotionally I am not ready. But to be honest will I ever be ready?! If I had her home another year would I still feel the same?! I guess I will know the answer to that question, but what I do know is that she is ready to go to school and it's my job as her mummy to support and encourage this new exciting time in her little life.

So as I spend the last day with her as a 3 year old I feel a mixture of emotions but excited to see how she grows and develops over the next year and the changes in her now she will be at school.

I'm sure I'm not the first or the last mummy to feel this way and I will probably feel this way at every milestone in her life. I think being a parent is defiantly bitter sweet! 

Thank you for reading.

Tasha xxx

P.s I'm now off to pull myself together and get on with my day (haha) 


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