Anxiety. If you have it you will know how difficult it is to live with. It affects suffers in different ways. For some it's a single fear and for others it can be many, or once you conquer one another seems to appear. It's something I have learnt to live with for almost 3 years now, and it hasn't been easy.

At my worst I was afraid to leave my house, i had to give up work,I withdrew myself from friends, family and my husband. I spent my days and nights focusing and over analysing my fears and worries until I got the help I so desperately needed. No one knew how to help me, I didn't know how to help myself. I was terrified I was loosing my mind and I was this crazy person who had no control over my thoughts.  

It wasn't until I fully understood what anxiety was that I started to get better and manage my worries. Researching, reading stories from sufferes, understanding why my anxiety started in the first place and some CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) I was able to start to feel better. Unfortunately I began to suffer again when I fell pregnant with Charlie. All my old feelings and thoughts came flooding back and worse than ever. I couldn't undsetsnd why it was all coming back. To me I had conquered it and moved on. But what I was having was a relapse. Certain events or situations which are classed as "triggers" for the brain can cause your anxiety symptoms to come back, but how you react and deal with them makes a huge impact on how long your relapse last.

Due to recent events in my life and changes I am having a relapse. However this time I feel slightly more in control. Using the tools and techniques that I have learnt over the years I am able to rationalise my thoughts and calm myself and my body during an anxiety/panic attack. I have come to accept that it will always be a part of me. It will never fully go away but I just live along side it. 

One of the main things hat helped me was coming across a book called "at last a life" written by anxiety sufferer paul David. It's cheesy I know but this book changed my life!!! I realised where I was going wrong on my quest to rid myself of my anxiety and why I was suffering the way I was. I can't recommend his book or his website enough, which you can find here http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk/

I apogise this is a long and rambling post but it's something I wanted to share. I will at some point go further in to my anxiety story and tips on dealing with the symptoms. But for now I just wanted to let other sufferes know that there not alone, and there is help out there. You can come out the other side. Even though I have relapses now and then I am feeling better than I have in years. I'm back working part time, im out with my children. I'm socialising again and my life is back on track. 

If you feel like you are suffering with anxiety or depression please seek help. You do not need to suffer alone. It is more common than you think and you would be surprised who it effects. You can read about the signs and symptoms on Pauls website.

Thank you so much for reading and I hope this post has helped someone.

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