The "Threenager"

The threenager...a term used for a 3 year old who acts like a teenager, and I am living with one.

Everyone warned me about the terrible twos and the tantrums but no one said anything about being 3! Don't get me wrong I love my daughter more than words can say, but my word can she go from being as cute as a button to a screaming, pouting,door slamming little madam in less than a minute.

The wrong pair of shoes, the wrong socks,cutting her sandwich up the wrong way, buying the Colgate toothpaste instead of the aqua fresh,giving her a peppa pig cup instead of the princess cup, are just some of the things that can cause the mother of all meltdowns and just about everyone within a mile radius can hear her. 

Take this mornings incident for example...
She woke up as normal and asked for breakfast and I asked her what she would like. She said she didn't know and could I choose. So I chose crumpets with butter (her favourite yesterday) cue her falling to the floor crying and sobbing that's not what she wanted! So as calmly  as I could I explained to her that when she knew what she wanted to let me know. An hour later she decided she wanted cereal! After cereal she asked for a packet of yogurt covered fruit which was fine, I opened up the packet the wrong way (according to her) and once again cue another meltdown. 

This on a daily basis can be sole destroying and many times I have had to just place her in her room to calm down. I've discovered there is no rationalising with her when she is like that so untill she clams down, whatever you do is wrong in her eyes. I won't lie there have been times I've locked myself in the downstairs toilet with my cup of tea just for 5 minutes peace once "daddy" comes home. If this makes me an awful parent,well I hold my hands up!  Sometimes you just need a break and to take a deep breathe before you to turn into a raving threenager yourself.

But it's not just the tantrums! Oh no there is the attitude, the answering back, and the whining and whinging that EVERYTHING you do or suggest is wrong. If I had a £1 for everytime Elise has told me "your not my best friend anymore" because I didn't let her have her own way or "I don't like you anymore" I would be a very rich lady. I've learnt not to take it personally anymore. When she first started saying it, it really hurt and I felt it was some reflection on my parenting, but having spoken to other mums it's a normal thing for a lot of 3 year olds to go through. It's now that I have to be stronger than ever to explain and show her what we expect from her behaviour and we are slowly winning each battle with her. Someone once said to me if your child tells you they don't like you then your doing something right.

When Elise isn't in "threenager" mode she is a loving and kind little girl, the little girl I know she really is and I couldn't be prouder of her. Her nursery teachers have nothing but praise for her and she is forever coming home with stickers and rewards for her good behaviour and being kind and helpful...so I must be doing something right! This phase like the terrible twos will pass and it will be on to the next phase.

If you are living with a threenager, I send you my deepest sympathy. Know that it isn't anything your doing, they are just learning how to express themselves. Oh and keep a stash of chocolate and wine in for later when they are in bed, it helps! 

As always thank you for reading.

Tasha xxx

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